Throwing Up Words

2.27.2009

I am guilty of paranoia @ 3:35 PM

2.26.2009

Roommates @ 8:55 PM

Roommates:,

Bianca says it’s because the campanile on a foggy night
is a distant memory,
tapping, snapping, whistling to instant, incessant crescendo
of the wailing of fire alarms,
after laughing at innuendos and dancing
to Blue way past
midnight
naturally, unmistakably,
insanely
high off of the scent
of rain.

Melissa says it’s because style is an art,
After browsing, stalking the miles of road that forward thinking artists
walk on:
Four inches of unstable heels
Monochrome white, gray, black,
Unknown labels and waist cinches
Inspired, le tired, fired up
to make up what art there is
In clothes tomorrow.

Selena says it’s because the caffeine
can keep her up
deep in thoughts of being anywhere, everywhere, and seeing
dark rooms of cinemas,
hour and a half long features of fiction
flash before her eyes, with sighs, she
retires to bed and wakes up
with thoughts in her head
of getting away.

I say it’s because of the characters
The blur of lights, and nights
With fits of laughter
The wait for the elevator, the line
By the Sather
Gate
The brilliance, the dance of the sky
And the enantiomers of colors and
Stained boots
From jumping on puddles
By the creek.

And then what?
I suppose that it’s because things
Can remain
Unexplained
Ingrained
in this time and this time only
tomorrow is fleeting.
We must live for today.
We must.

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Inspired by a newly found blog of inspiration. =)

This is life in Berkeley. yours. mine. ours.

Labels: Art, Berkeley, contemplation

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Random events make for the best blog entries @ 3:09 PM

Coming home from Safeway today, weighed down by packages of tofu, eggs, veg/fruits and snacks jumbled in four bags, I thought about some form of punishment where one had to carry all their belongings with them at all times. Like, if no homes existed, and there were no such thing as a closet/cabinet/drawer, would humans be much less packrats? This is hypothetically speaking of course. Well actually, not, as homeless folks have to do that all the time...just something to think about.

Anyway, I got on the elevator and guess what, got stuck...for days. I smiled when I realized that if there ever was a time to be stuck in an elevator, coming home from grocery shopping would be it. Okay. Confession. I did not get stuck. The thought just occurred to me as I looked to see what floor I was on, but it might as well have happened since I don't have much to do today anyway.

Now I leave you with three random things that I realized were really annoying and day-ruining (eh?) IMHO.
1. When the punched circles of paper from a hole puncher spills everywhere, and there is no vacuum in sight, so you are forced to pick up every bit of it.
2. When jackets/sweatshirts have the hood part down and inside out, and the inside portion is exposed.
3. When you take a nap with perfectly straight/manageable hair, then wake up to a nest of crimps, waves, and tangles.

And also, my current song addiction. Oh, boy, I know this will be playing over and over and over on my laptop and in my head for the next tens of hours.

Spinnerette- Valium Knight (mp3 link)

Fall into an abyss
Won't you give me, just one last kiss
Valium knights in my bed
Only now, he's a vagrant in my head
Golden love is holding on
Holding onto what we had before

JFK's sun went down
He left the thorns of fallen crown
Marilyn Monroe's come I'll swallow
She is the guts, the glory, sorrow

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2.23.2009

Random Music @ 6:05 PM

I recall a light from someplace in my imagination that once showed me the shadowed contrast between delusion and imagination. Dumbfounded, starring at non-existent matter and invisible air like they were strips of developing polaroid slowly exposing itself to space, I realized the limitless capability that creative minds have to imagine something out of nothing. It requires particular sensibility towards the art of the abstract and vague, and the reality of plain perception. And here I create not fallacy, but an alternate wholly-fictional realism (ha, does that make sense?) that I may or may not trick myself into believing.

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Analysis of my music:

Only, surely, a mad man would listen to Belle and Sebastian one minute, and From a Second Story Window the next. I kid you not when I say that my music is as bipolar as bipolar music goes. The most amusing of all is the shuffle + crossfade playback that results in the occasional merging of happy lyrics and chaotic drums and growling. :) And with this, I leave you with the top ten albums that have influenced me musically, and yes, even spiritually (particularly on days when I escape from the world and hear and breathe nothing but the repeated songs of certain bands.)

1. BACK IN BLACK- AC/DC
2. ROCK STEADY- No Doubt
3. FROM HERE TO INFIRMARY- Alkaline Trio
4. GIVE UP- The Postal Service
5. PAST MASTERS, VOLUME ONE and TWO- The Beatles
6. X&Y - Coldplay
7. YOU CAN PLAY THESE SONGS WITH CHORDS- Death Cab For Cutie
8. WET FROM BIRTH- The Faint
9. JUNO SOUNDTRACK- Various Artists
10. THIS IS SINATRA VOLUME ONE and TWO- Frank Sinatra

P.S. This deviation in tone and manner of writing is a consequence of reading the American Gothic novel, Edgar Huntly, or The Memoirs of a Sleepwalker. hm.

Labels: Random

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2.19.2009

A bunch of blogbabble @ 11:59 PM

Hello my dears. Just taking some time off from editing my analytical essay of Poe's "The Gold-Bug." Hopefully this "time off" gives me fresh air to breath from being confined to 3 pages of Word document and reading and re-reading lines over and over, repetitively and intensely. What better way to do so than blogging, right? As it turns out, from experimental procedures I have recently undertaken, a cup of hot chocolate and a corner table with a nice view are the best remedy to boredom resulting from organic chemistry and essay editing. Yay, Starbucks?

Meanwhile, have you heard the news that there lurks some creep around Berkeley, waiting to prey on skirt-wearing girls? The offense involves skirt-lifting and attempted sexual advances. The victims are usually ladies walking around Berkeley between 10 pm to 3 am in the cold in a skirt. I guess that excludes me, sort of? :) Unless of course, I decide to develop a habit of switching pajamas for skirts and sleepwalking to who knows where. Beware.

Also, on a more personal note, after attempting to find which class best provides the setting for notebook doodling, I have found success! (yes, success is counted sweetest by those who never succeed - from the very thoughts of Emily Dickinson herself, but nevermind that). It has come to a tie between Math lecture (right) and MCB discussion (left). There. I've spent enough time blogbabbling. Go! Free yourselves of my thoughts!

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2.18.2009

The Office Promotion @ 10:10 PM

I'll take some time from my busy (not!) schedule to promote the Office, and share something cool I found: ad for Puma!

Schruteness of the Day:

Dwight Schrute: What is my perfect crime? I break into Tiffany's at midnight. Do I go for the vault? No. I go for the chandelier. It's priceless. As I'm taking it down, a woman catches me. She tells me to stop. It's her father's business. She's Tiffany. I say no. We make love all night. In the morning cops come and I escape in one of their uniforms. I tell her to meet me in Mexico, but I go to Canada. I don't trust her. Besides, I like the cold. Thirty years later I get a postcard. I have a son, and he's the chief of police. This is where the story gets interesting: I tell Tiffany to meet me in Paris by the Trocadaro. She's been waiting for me all these years, she's never taken another lover. I don't care, I don't show up. I go to Berlin. That's where I stashed the chandelier.

Labels: Random

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2.17.2009

Saving Memories, Creating New Ones @ 11:44 PM

I've just spent 10+ minutes of my life saving memories created from 5+ hours of typing and 2+ years of blogging, just in case the whole world wide web does the great depression stock market on us and crashes...you never know...

While that was happening, a green light just turned on and turned off out of nowhere...strange...and the world outside just got colder. Am I prematurely planning for a cloudy day when tomorrow will be another episode starring soaked cold students with dysfunctional umbrellas? (I'm not talking about me here. promise)

I so know what I'm going to wear. But more on that tomorrow, when all is certain. Meanwhile, here is a picture of more clothes I wish I had. When am I going to get a job already? Oh, and I'm getting much better at Photoshop illustrations, don't you think? ;)

Labels: Random

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2.16.2009

@ 2:36 PM

It must have been autumn. I wrote beautiful stories to frame the beautiful encounter we just had. I wrote for days, smooth pages sucked the life out of my pen, creating meaning out of words. They became alive. The day before was a haze that blurred the cinema through my foggy glasses. When the movie ended was when I began to cry. People left. I sat still. The next moment, I feared the dark shadows under the overpass. Drunk from the overly emotional and delusional mess that was, I feared everything. I sat still, but this time, on the curb. I sat staring at the concrete until it turned yellow from the oncoming headlight of your car. Thanks for picking me up and picking me out- of a crowd. But no one was around to hear the rest of the story.
Then I woke up today in a dark room I used to know so well. The acidic smell of pouring rain, the tapping that it created, the avalanche of its downpour. Somewhere, someone is moving, oblivious to my breathing. The moment was fleeting- I got up. I stepped on the heels of shoes I don't remember wearing last night. The rain is pouring much heavier now and from the heavy drapes a lonely shadow came. One look told me that it was you, coming back for something you had forgotten. I keep my eyes closed, imitating sleep, I hate to see you leave, even if your coming is but a figment of my imagination. I fell asleep and in an hour woke up to a vague and questionable sunrise; the clouds keep me guessing for time. Then an explosion sent my head spinning like a ferris wheel, ferris wheel, ferris wheel. Reality hits hard like a head on collision against rocks...

fictional paragraph copied straight from journal written while I was half-taken by sleep. I have many moments of failed creativity.

Labels: Random

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@ 1:30 AM

Disillusioned, I feel like I can do anything.

Was browsing through Amazon earlier for tablets so I can finally paint mess-free (on Photoshop, that is. ) Can you imagine the possibilities. Meanwhile, drawing by mouse will have to do, as you can see with my scribble to the left.

<---------------

Also, I'm really sleepy but for some reason, I'm not ready for zzzzzz's. say whaaaat?

Labels: Random

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2.13.2009

Plane Crash and Black Boxes @ 2:37 PM

In view of recent events, mainly the plane crash that occured yesterday over Buffalo, New York , I have been doing some reading regarding plane crashes and recovered black boxes that detail recorded conversations in a cockpit seconds before a plane crashes.

On January 31, 2000, Alaska Airlines Flight 261 departed Puerto Vallarta, Mexico, heading for Seattle, WA, with a short stop scheduled in San Francisco, CA. Approximately one hour and 45 minutes into the flight, a problem was reported with the plane's stabilizer trim. After a 10-minute battle to keep the plane airborne, it plunged into the Pacific Ocean off the coast of California. All 88 people onboard were killed. (Source: HowStuffWorks.com)

Here is the recording between Captain Ted Thompson and First Officer William Tansky and the Los Angeles Route Traffic Control Center (LAX-CTR).

4:09:55 p.m.	Thompson: Center, Alaska two-sixty-one. We are, uh, in a dive here, and I've lost control, vertical pitch.
4:10:33	Thompson: Yea, we got it back under control here.
4:11:43	Tansky: Whatever we did is no good. Don't do that again...
4:11:44	Thompson: Yea, no, it went down. It went full nose down.
4:11:48	Tansky: Uh, it's a lot worse than it was?
4:11:50	Thompson: Yea. Yea. We're in much worse shape now.
4:14:12	Public address: Folks, we have had a flight-control problem up front here, we're working on it.
4:15:19	Flight 261 to LAX-CTR: L.A., Alaska two-sixty-one. We're with you, we're at twenty-two-five [22,500 feet]. We have a jammed stabilizer and we're maintaining altitude with difficulty...
4:15:36	LAX-CTR: Alaska two-sixty-one, L.A center. Roger, um, you're cleared to Los Angeles Airport via present position...
4:17:09	Flight attendant: Okay, we had like a big bang back there.
4:17:15	Thompson: I think the [stabilizer] trim is broke.
4:19:36	Extremely loud noise
4:19:43	Tansky: Mayday
4:19:54	Thompson: Okay, we are inverted, and now we gotta get it.
4:20:04	Thompson: Push, push, push...push the blue side up. Push...
4:20:14	Tansky: I'm pushing.
4:20:16	Thompson: Okay, now let's kick rudder. Left rudder, left rudder.
4:20:18	Tansky: I can't reach it.
4:20:20	Thompson: Okay. Right rudder, right rudder.
4:20:25	Thompson: Are we flying? We're flying, we're flying. Tell 'em what we're doing.
4:20:33	Tansky: Oh, yeah. Let me get...
4:20:38	Thompson: Gotta get it over again. At least upside down we're flying.
4:20:54	Thompson: Speedbrakes
4:20:55	Tansky: Got it.
4:20:56	Thompson: Ah, here we go.
4:20:57	End of recording

Doesn't that give you chills, especially the last line "Ah, here we go." Then crash.

I recall a couple of years ago, my flight to the Philippines was delayed for 2 hours. We were already all seated inside, just waiting for takeoff. Many people were complaining, naturally, as it was announced that there were technical difficulties with the 3rd engine. I thought, go right ahead and fix it. Fix it well. Better arrive late than not arrive at all.

Flying always worries me.

Labels: contemplation, news, Random

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2.05.2009

@ 11:42 AM

I am walking to class, umbrellas crowded like an outgrowth of shrooms. I nearly bump into Frechet and it made my day, I tell you! I wish Neha also had him for Chem 3A. She would absolutely start a fan club. Yes, that I am certain of.
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In other news, it's raining. That's self evident and apparent. You really don't need me to tell you that, and I don't know why I needed to tell you that, especially since I just wrote about umbrellas and shrooms, and yeah, i'm blabbing on and on and on, feel free to stop reading...now. ;)

Labels: Classes, Random

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2.01.2009

@ 9:14 PM

For my grandfather: I hope this message will reach you, even if the manner of words are nowhere near how I write them now, or the time as relevant. If it reaches you someday when the culmination of our existence are in the past, then I know exactly where you are: in my heart, as near as the wind now unseen, forever felt.

I am not certain when we met or how; does it even matter? Memories are sacred windows where you can watch time go by and see so much. When my mom was a roaring teenager, she used to stare at the door for the exact moment you came in from work so she could give you your house slippers. Now, we both know that this scene ends with her asking you for money to buy bubble gum pink nail polish, and later on to ask you for permission to date my dad. She was so in love, she tells me years later. I am what my mom's age was, and though I like to think that I know everything about life, I still learn so much from her.

Thank you for raising her the way you did. She is everything I can ask for in a mother. During the harsh winter in New York before I came into this world, I can picture a scene of her 21 year old self, young and still naive about this world, hand on her belly waiting for me to say hello. I can picture her as she took me home for the first time, perhaps grateful to you and grandma for bringing her life to experience what is to become her longest and most important job- motherhood.

Thank you for saying yes to my father, as he asked you for your daughter's hand in marriage, for accepting him into the family, for letting her cease to become your little girl. That must be one of the toughest things a father ever has to do. When the time comes, I know my dad will do the same for me. When the time comes, I can only hope that he will look back into the past (with you in mind), see everything you have ever done for Mama, and find the faith to let me go.

Thank you for the Sundays when we visited, and the days in between. Thank you for the summer day ice cream flavors, the jokes, the laughter, the protective hugs. From day one of our lives until the last day of yours, I am certain that you embrace that growing feeling of love for us, though nowadays, you might not remember much.

Thank you for your courage to sail the deep seas, despite it taking you so far away from home. I would not be here, sitting here, with so much of an open,wide road in my vision, if not for that risk that you were willing to take. Maybe I took after you with the faith that no matter how incalculable the distance is from home, I will always find my way back.

I wish I could be there to smile upon you now, even if you are in your death bed, and I am at the beginning of my life. Thank you, I love you, and I will always remember you.

Labels: contemplation, family

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